Look! Even The American President Realizes What..

What Diwali Is All About

Happy Diwali! 

Spread Peace

Spread Light

Spread Hope

Spread Love

God bless!

Get Ready For The Movies This Festive Season

So this festive season it promises to be a fantastic affair for Bollywood movie buffs. The season has already started off with a bang with Barfi that has already won itself enough accolades to be selected as India's official entry for the 2013 Oscars. Dont miss that one!

If you haven't already warmed up the touching story in Barfi then you will be when you look at what lies ahead....

First (for all those Lamhe fans) Sri Devi is back in the much awaited English Vinglish that tells the story of a housewife who learns English to adjust and live in New York.


Returning to entertain us again is the king of family drama, Karan Johar; thankfully this time as a director with Student of The Year releasing on October 19.

The film has newcomers in the lead roles. Interestingly Shankar-Ehsaan-Loy are not doing the music for this one. Instead its Vishal-Shekhar.
Probably because of SRK's influence (since Red Chilles is co-producing the film along with KJo's Dharma Productions).
The music (Ishq wala Love) is already topping the charts as easily the romantic number of the year.

We spoke about SRK?

Well SRK is back too..and this time as an army man in Yash Chopra's "Jab Tak Hai Jaan" romancing Katrina Kaif and Anushka Sharma. With a unparalleled repertoire in Bollywood and a penchant for romantic classics, Yash Chopra is back as a director after 8 years. And  has teamed up for the first time with A R Rahman. If the promos are anything to go by, and with the music release yet to come, this one could well be one of the all-time romantic dramas in Bollywood. The film is all set for a Diwali blockbuster release on November 13.

Guess what. There is also the other Khan.

Aamir Khan is back with this "Talaash" releasing on November 30, quite surely adding more fireworks to Diwali. Now we all know Aamir is a perfectionist. He had the movie moved to the November release in view of his busy schedule with Satyamev Jayate earlier in the year. The movie is produced by Farhan Akhtar, and is co-written by Akhtar's sister Zoya. Kareena Kapoor and Rani Mukherjee play the leading ladies. The music is by Ram Sampath who is fast becoming the go-to music-maker for all of Aamir's endeavours.

And hold your breath.....u guessed it?
Yeah..we also have Salman Khan in the mix.

After tasting unimaginable success in Dabanng, Chulbul Pandey is back in Dabanng 2. So is the beautiful Sonakshi Sinha. There are high expectations on this one, but knowing Salman's movies, this one will surely laugh all the way to the box-office. Wary of the other 2 Khans releasing during Diwali, the producers have ofcourse pushed the movie to a Christmas release on Dec 21.

So you have KJo and all the 3 Khans!
The last time we had all the 3 Khans was in 2010 when SRK's "My Name is Khan", Aamir's "3 Idiots" and Salman's forgettable 'Veer".

As if this was not enough, we also have Rajnikanth's Kochadaiyaan releasing on Dec 12. More of AR Rahman! Kamal Hassan's Vishwaroopam also releases on the same date, so fans in Chennai are going to be treated to a bonanza! Oh and Shankar-Ehsaan-Loy are back as well, this as music directors in Vishwaroopam.

Other notable movies to look forward to this year: are Rani Mukherjee's Aiyya and the Mani-Ratnam/AR Rahman combo giving us Kadal (releasing in early 2013), which by the way has a beautiful pretty girl on the poster.

Here is hoping this festive season is going to be one fantastic experience at the movies!

Cheers!

Eternal Fanclub Wars

For every generation there are heroes. Be it sport, music, cinema, business or even politics. If there is one aspect in which heroes really endear themselves to human emotions is that they are fodder for coffee-table discussions. Of the battleground kinds.

Obviously not everyone can become a hero - what fun is it if everyone was a hero?! Whom would we gossip about?
And so people become fans of heroes.
And it is here that the topic becomes interesting - passionate fans will swear by their heroes.

And these make for fascinating discussions.

Take the case of the Roger Federer and Rafael Nadal rivalry.
The Federer fans are a combination of the uninitiated, the moms, and ofcourse the experts. The Nadal ones are the folks who like to be called underdogs, who crave for an anti-hero. And so the debates go on: Who is better? Who has the fastest serve? Who deserves the right to be called the real no#1? Who has a prettier girlfriend? Who has more money? The debate ends when both of them lose and some unheralded Novak wins.

Or the case of Mohd Rafi and Kishore Kumar.
Left largely to the elders in the family, these debates take great shape when two of them get down together for a Sunday breakfast and need a topic to converse. The women largely care less. The men are passionate. The Rafi fans swear by his renditions whereas the Kishore Kumar ones find it hard to trump the evergreen classics with Kishore Kumar himself in front of the cameras and serenading his women. The younger generation has tried to pit AR Rahman with folks like Pritam or Shankar-Ehsaan-Loy- but it hasnt worked. Fanboy wars work when there are 2 of a kind!

Then there are politicians. Akhilesh Yadav versus Rahul Gandhi.
One is a winner. One is always trying to win. Again it is the grand old men of the house that seem to have an opinion on what kind of policies are required in UP that can change the way their creaking chairs can be fixed.

For the women there are other kinds of debates.
Like Anandi vs Parvati vs Tulsi. Each one portrays a different kind of woman-following, and triggers in the lady an expression of approval or discontent based on what show she likes more and what her fellow kitty-party women follow. I love to see the expression on my mom's face when one of these lead women characters on the show is manipulated by other women. She almost sheds a tear!!

There is something for the kindergarten kids too. Batman vs Superman. Barbie vs (well!) Kent (now thats a bit funny!).

And some for the techie geeks: iPhone vs Android, Mac vs Windows, Apple vs Samsung...

Then there are the cricket fans.
The 'Is Sachin the greatest cricketer?' versus 'Is it Dravid?' debates. Oh give me a break! I mean really? Smart tip: you know who is the nerd in the group if he/she starts talking about Dravid in the face of Sachin. However the more interesting debates are the ones between father-son or uncle-nephew. The older generation paints this beautiful picture of Gavaskar and his sublime grace in the face of the youngster's craze for Sachin (or now a Kohli), and it takes some mindblowing hot dosas from the lady of the house to get them to forget talking cricket for a while. Of late there is discussion if Laxman was better than Dravid, and believe me I heard one of my relatives giving Laxman a better score because his wife looked more beautiful than Dravid's. LoL!!

But its fun. Apart from the rise of a few ounces of adrenalin, these characters touch our lives in more ways than we think. There is something to discuss, to chat, to feel for, and sometimes even to win some brownie points for breaking the ice. So the next time you hear a debate between Aamir Khan vs Sharukh Khan vs Salman Khan be sure to talk passionately about atleast 2 of them and negate the other - that is when your coffee will get warmer!

Cheers!
(PS: picture sourced from the internet)

Homework

Image obtained from the internet

Homework- the albatross that hung around our necks while in school.

We all hated it. But we all had to do it.
It took away our weekends. And cut short our play-time.

As kids all we wanted to do was play.

I remember those arguments with mom when I had to beg her to let me go and play in the evening while she insisted that I finish the homework first. She would bribe me by saying that I can play for 30 minutes longer. And I would bribe her in turn that I would help her clean the fans. Usually one of us would get the better of the other based on who was in it to gain - whether it was a guest visting the house that needed cleaning, or whether it was the season of a favourite sport during playtime.

Teachers were part of the mix too.
I think they gave homework only because they felt they needed to.

Think about it - did any of your teachers ever say to you "ok kids! u ve all worked hard. no homework today".
Never.

It would either be that your teacher forgot, or, more often than not, you just interpreted it to mean that there was no homework for the day.

And then there was holiday homework.
LoL!
This was the homework that you had to do while you were on your Diwali/Christmas or NewYear vacation.
It typically ranged from tasks such as reading all the 100 chapters in your history textbook, to drawing the maps of all the countries in the world (each with a different color). There was also the extremely complex idea of understanding those Hindi poems and translating them to simpler hindi- oh my!!

Seriously!I always found it difficult to understand the Hindi poetry.
Some of those poems by Harivansh Rai Bacchan are today posted by Big B on his blog.
He calls them the great tenets of wisdom.
And i still cant understand them.
And to think that poor 5th standard kids had to read, understand and prepare answers to questions based on those poems...that too during holidays....oh during Diwali holidays!

Goodness me!

Think about it - they gave you homework when you were supposed to be on vacation? Poor kids!
Adults never had to do homework when they were on a vacation from work - so why kids?

The best students neatly finished all their homework items by the time school reopened.
Down to getting their red Nataraj HB pencils sharpened and ready to go.

I was always choosy about homework.
Once in middle school one of the things I had in my list of holiday homeworks was to prepare a chart about some hindi poem that would be stuck on the class display board. I didnt want to do it...and kept postponing it until it was too late to do it.

When school reopened, the teacher asked me about it.
And guess what i said "which homework? who? me???????"
And she said "wasnt it you?"
I replied "No maam!"
"Ok forget it. Lets not waste time"

LoL!

But homework also had some good memories.
Like the school project that we had to do during the holidays.
I remember crying when dad tried to help me with it coz i wanted to do it all by myself.
But in the end he helped me do a fantastic job.

Or the time when I finished all my homework even before mom could ask and she was so thrilled that she let me play all weekend.

My sister was usually always perfect with her homework.
I think girls are always prompt and perfect about these things.

My sister and I would compete hard to be the first to finish homework.
And I would always lose!

I would always sit by the window-side when doing homework.
The sight of some of my friends entering the football ground below would alert me to go and bribe mom to let me go.
She wasnt always strict.
Most times I would get to go.
The problem was when there was an exam round the corner and I wanted to play.
I would feel guilty if I played before an exam.
Just the mentality of indian students.

And the feeling of getting to play after the last exam was over - OH MY GOD!!!!! i cant explain that! :)))))))

Rangoli, Doordarshan and Those Days

I was recently reminded by a friend of the good old Rangoli - a weekly Sunday television program that showed you the top 10 Bollywood film songs of the week. (surprise surprise! - my friend told me that the show is still playing every Sunday!)

Trip down memory lane..

We would obviously wake up late, but it wouldnt be very late. Sunday usually brought with it a tremendous dose of energy. It was a different kind of energy- not one that drove you to work like on a weekday. But one that would excite you for what lay ahead of a much needed holiday.

As mom would start her weekly special cleaning chores, the maid servant would try to wrap up her work as quickly as she could (ofcourse! it was a Sunday for her too). Dad would be busy with the Sunday morning newspaper - a big pile of fat supplements that no-one really had patience to read and would end up as cleaning material for next weekend. He would also be suggesting breakfast options for Mom, unaware that she had already decided on Upma!

My sister and I would wake up with different inspirations in our minds. I would be thinking of going out and playing cricket with friends. My sister would be in her dreamy world imagining the color of the plants and the sight of ships in the ocean outside our house. We would meet at the dining table where mom would ve laid a glass of Bournvita for both of us.

Everyone except Mom was invariably lazy on Sunday morning.

Until it was time for Rangoli on Doordarshan.

The best part of this TV show was that it brought an old world charm to everyone's busy lives. Back then the songs were more melodies and less electro-beats. The television would hum the songs while we all revolved around our routines.

Dad would use the opportunity to fix some electrical work as the songs hummed one after another. My sister was too small to understand the songs and so was quite entertained with the advertizements that came in between - the Nirma girl one her favourite. She still had her glass of milk in her hands, and there was now a white milk-moustache on her lips. I liked some of the songs. And disliked the others. I would part play football in the house, and part watch the songs. I would specifically like it when DD showed the torch-bearer national anthem or the Mile Sur Mera Tumhara ad. Seriously, DD was such a positive influence in those days. Mom would catch the songs in between work and in between making Upma. The maid servant would unfailingly stop near the TV room to catch the songs. She did not have a her own TV, so this was a great incentive for her to come to work on a Sunday.

Midway through the show, Mom would bring Upma for everyone. Dad would first ask "why Upma again?", and then enjoy it. Coz it was so good. I would ask for some curd and chatni-pudi along with it. Mom would serve everyone and then for herself. We would also give some upma to the maid servant (in her own plate that she brought along), so that she also enjoyed the show.

Oh and my sister- she was still stuck with her Bournvita! LoL!

As the show would end it would be deja-vu for everyone.
The maid would leave for the day.
My dad would plan the next item on his agenda for the day. My sister and I would begin our homeworks. Mom would plan for lunch.

Those were really memorable days.

The Turtle Picnic

(sourced from the internet):

The Turtle Picnic

A turtle family decided to go on a picnic. Turtles, being naturally slow about things, took seven years to prepare for their outing. Finally the turtle family left home looking for a suitable place. During the second year of their journey they found a place ideal for them at last!

For about six months they cleaned the area, unpacked the picnic basket, and completed the arrangements. Then they discovered they had forgotten the salt. A picnic without salt would be a disaster, they all agreed. After a lengthy discussion, the youngest turtle was chosen to retrieve the salt from home. Although he was the fastest of the slow moving turtles, the little turtle whined, cried, and wobbled in his shell. He agreed to go on one condition: that no one would eat until he returned. The family consented and the little turtle left.

Three years passed and the little turtle had not returned. Five years... six years... then on the seventh year of his absence, the oldest turtle could no longer contain his hunger. He announced that he was going to eat and begun to unwrap a sandwich. At that point the little turtle suddenly popped out from behind a tree shouting, "See! I knew you wouldn't wait. Now I am not going to go get the salt."

Go Zlatan!

So who's gonna win Euro 2012?
My pick is a Germany vs Spain final, with a victory for...Germany.....no Spain.....err...Germany....no Spain.........don't know!

Pity that Zlatan scored the above beauty in a game of no consequences!

Pencil-Box

It was a trip down memory lane as I reminisced the good old primary school days when the classroom was a melting point of the middle class and the extremely affluent.

Given than everyone wore the same uniform, a kid's net worth was well represented in a few essentials: the water bottle, the lunch box and its contents, and the pencil-box.

Back then I had a simple pencil-box. The kind where you would open the box and stuff in all your pencils, eraser ( or 'rubber' as we called it) and the sharpener.

I never really had to buy a pencil-box. Most of my friends' parents were creatively challenged so for every birthday party I would have atleast 7-8 different types of pencil-boxes as birthday gifts.

Frankly speaking, buying a gift for your kid's friend's birthday party is one of the most agonizing routines Indian parents have faced since Manmohan Singh opened up the economy. Thus gifting a pencil-box is the safest option for an Indian parent taking their kids to their friends’ birthdays. It always comes across as well-meaning- "You should study well beta. Ok?” (Yeah! and then give you nightmares as the kid studies hard and scores more marks more than your son)!

The stock of pencil-boxes at home were also the supply of gift ideas for birthday parties my sister and I went to. So it would often happen that a pencil-box I received as a birthday gift would travel across 2-3 homes and again wind up in our house as a birthday gift for my sister.

I particularly remember my green metallic pencil-box in class 5. It had the cool dude 'Fido-Dido" character from 7-Up laced all over it. I would carry one ink pen and 2 pencils, along with an eraser, an ink eraser and a sharpener. Oh and a ruler!

The box had 2 compartments. The upper tray had my precious Hero ink pen (we had just graduated to ink then), and my ruler tucked underneath that. Not surprisingly the ruler always had ink stains. The lower tray had more room; it housed the 2 pencils and the rest of the armory.

Most of the time though, the bottom tray would be full of pencil shrapnel. Buried inside the shrapnel would be stickers collected at the local kirana store upon buying Britannia, Lays or Cadbury goodies. I remember wanting to collect 1 more sticker so that I would win a jackpot to meet Sachin Tendulkar and drink Pepsi with him. Or a chance to fly to Australia and get a kangaroo ride. On one occasion I had even packed my bags.

The rich boys in the class had hi-tech pencil-boxes. You pressed a button and a lever opened out to sharpen the pencil. You pressed another button and the upper tray opened up. You pressed one more and a side panel opened up to pick up the eraser and dump all the pencil shrapnel). It was classic Toy Story! Years later it would inspire Rajnikanth.

The version for the girls, I remember, was in pink and had a button which when pressed would throw open a mini mirror. Girls often carried little candy in their pencil-boxes.

Pencil-boxes also found another use in pencil-box fights. This was in addition to the pencil fights, pen fights, rubber-fights, sharpener fights, and rubber-sharpener fights.  Today we call it the IPL.

Most boys would use their pencil-boxes to hoard chalk-pieces for throwing at each other. The girls would steal all the colored chalks, so they could help their mothers with rangoli at home (as i learnt from my sister) Sorry teachers!

In high school, the pencil-box became a little less relevant. Most people carried what I would call a pencil 'pouch'- a bag like carry-on, the shape of a pencil-box, with a zip and string to ply along with. My sister loved these because she said it gave them early introduction into what would later become their handbags. They had gorgeous colors and varieties of different designs. Most guys had black or grey ones.

Those were good times indeed!

iPad for MPs

So there was the recent news that our Members of Parliament (MPs) would be given iPads and their so called 'computer allowance ' would now be increased to 2 lakh rupees per year.

Interesting times.

The government of India needs to rise to the occasion and send a representative to the Apple headquarters in Cupertino,California.

And make some changes to the iPad for MPs.

To start with, the touchscreen of the iPad is just not good enough for Indian terrain...err the floor...i mean the floor of the house!

The touchscreen should be laced with a coating of plexi-glass and other mind-boggling combinations of anorexic hydrates that will make the surface hard enough.

MPs are too lazy to clap when someone speaks in Parliament.

They bang their desks.(why do we still blame school kids)

So the iPad must be really strong and resistant to table banging.

The current design of the iPad will lend itself to being smashed into pieces of glass each time the Prime Minister stands up to speak.

The front camera must have an improved resolution. It should allow the back benchers of the opposition to look at the entire house and check if anyone is playing games on their iPad instead of focusing on the debate in parliament.

It will also allow women leaders to look more finely at the jewelry worn by other women MPs- since there are MPs from across the country, women can take pictures of other women MPs even as they pretend to be reading the manuscript of the speech being delivered by Union Minister of Masala Dosas.

iPad2 comes with Facetime.

This is extremely important for MPs. However the current design must be further improved to allow MPs to talk simultaneously with their husbands/wives, the members of the Rajya Sabha(who, oh-by-the-way are also going to be gifted by iPads) as well as people at Ramlila who do not have an iPad but are doing an iFast wearing caps that read "iAnna"

The iPad will operate only on wifi and not on 3G. That is because the government came up with this plan post the 2G scam. Anyways that is for another discussion on another day. 

The government actually does not want the MPs to use the internet while inside the parliament. I think thats a joke! Because one of the MPs will start a fast at Ramlila and soon there will be wifi in the Parliament. Its already there in the Parliament canteen, which is where long lost buddies who fought in the college elections discover each other and plot to bring the Government down when they get back to the Parliament building after finishing their tea.

We will also need the government to develop some critical applications or Apps for the iPad for MPs.

For e.g, the LokSabha Snake-n-Ladders game:

Basically each MP takes turns to roll a digital dice. Based on the count the MP climbs positions in the virtual Lok Sabha. The MP who reaches the Finance Minister's seat gets to take off for the rest of the day.

The only catch: Members who want to play should use their iPad and study the proceedings of the day when they go home. There will be an assignment and questions will range from "what was the color of the saree worn by the Leader of the Opposition?", to, "how many times did the Prime Minister blink his eyes?" to something pretty straightforward as "which MP was sleeping whole day?"

Another application would be a media application.

This is where each MP can get to interact with the media by sitting in his seat in the Parliament. All that they have to do is make a facial expression via Facetime each time a news reporter asks a question.

A social network application only for the Lok Sabha and Rajya Sabha should be preinstalled on the iPad.

This will allow members from obscure constituencies to network with MPs from more forward cities like the metros and basically learn how to wear their dhoti properly when they come to the parliament.

The government must select iPads of different hues.

Apple products come in a wonderful array of colors.

I suggest the BJP MPs get orange or red.

The Congress MPs can get white.

All women MPs can get pink along with a pink smart cover. It is also recommended that women MPs get iPads designed with a special metal casing that can double up as a mirror in preparation for their evening kitty party.

Sorry. No cricket apps.
Those still crazy about cricket must go to the Rajya Sabha and listen to Sachin Tendulkar.

Once the MPs have iPads there will no longer be any need for paper circulation of bills. Everything will be digitally available on the iPads.

However the Speaker must give periodic instructions to the members that they should use the iPad only after washing their hands. Else the oil from the samosas and the kachoris will basically create a mockery of the iPad screen (and of the LokPal Bill)

When there is a debate, the members of the opposition can download all the news articles from across the world and use them for their speeches.

They can also click photos and email them to each other and then raise a no-confidence motion on the government on the grounds that they caught the Union Minister of Pajamas watching a Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge on his iPad instead of listening the speech made by the Union Minister of Pollution.

Its important that MPs do not get too excited by playing with the iPads

Finally I propose that each member of Parliament return the iPad if they lose the election to the next Parliament. That way we can ensure that whatever happens in the LokSabha and RajyaSabha..stays in the LokSabha and RajyaSabha

PS: The views expressed are purely fictious and are of my own. They are not meant to influence or demean any political party or the other! Go buy an iPad!