Siggu Leda?

When I was studying in my class 11/12 in Andhra Pradesh, it was a new experience from the seasoned CBSE to the more intense State boards. The high school/junior college that I joined was far removed from the Hindi/English drama associated with CBSE schools. Here it was 'free for all' Telugu.

All your classmates spoke Telugu.

And even the faculty.

When the faculty spoke, students had to listen to them with rapt attention.

Else they would get a "Eh Ra! Neeku Goda Meda Ekkesta" (I will hang you up on the wall (omg!))

The back-benchers would care less. They were already doing it. Kind of.

The front benchers would giggle and make sure they dont laugh.

People like me would just note the phrase in their minds and analyse it on the way back home.

And get to know the meaning a few days later.

When I once turned up late to the class, the school administrator stopped me at the school gate and told me "Siggu leda?"

I didnt understand and blurted "I drank tea and came"

She was perplexed.

Changing to chaste English she asked "whaat aar you telling I say? Who asked about yuvar tea?"

I said 'Sorry!" and then went to the class.

Later I got to know that "Siggu leda" meant "Dont you have shame?"

I had heard it as "Sigulade" and it sounded like "Lemonade" and I thought she was selling lemonades at the gate.

I got used to Telugu though.

Soon I could understand everything. It helps ofcourse that your mother tongue Kannada is similar to Telugu in many ways. And soon I was able to converse in decent but simple Telugu.

Telugu classmates never watched "movies". They never watched "films".

They only watched "Cinemas".

"Cinema choodyan ra"

"Eeh cinema ra?"

"Pavan Kalyan ra. Sooper kottad ra"

"Pavan gadu unnada?"

All I would understand from such banter was that there was a movie in town that that had 2 names:

"Pavan Kalyan ra. Sooper kottad ra"

and

"Pavan gadu unnada?"

It puzzled me how a movie could have 2 names.

At that point the Chemistry lecturer would come to the class, and the class would fall silent.

He would first turn to the girls.

These schools had all the boys sit on one side of the class, and all the girls on the other side.

I think they were the first to implement the women's reservation bill in our country even before Parliament passed it.

"Yellag unnavamma?(how are you girl?)", the lecturer would ask a tiny girl who always sat in the 3rd seat of the first row of the class. She would say something which only he would be able to hear.

If she said something nice, the lecturer would be in good mood.

Else he would be angry about something.

Then he would turn to the girl sitting exactly behind her.

"Baaga unnavamma?" (are you doing good girl?)

Then he would blush.

And start the class.

First he would ask "Homework chesara? Yavar cheyledu, stand up" (have you all done your homework? Who has not, stand up!)

Some honest guys and girls would stand up.

Some like me were always in a fix. We would have only done part of the homework, so we would never know what to do.

He would go up to each student.

"Enduku cheyiledu ra (why didnt you do it man)?", he would ask a guy standing.

"Sir! Unt lo baaga ledu Sir" ("I was not well Sir")

"Gappal chepaku (stop giving me excuses)!", and he would slap him.

We would be stunned.

Some of us would quickly finish off the homework while he was scolding the others.

"Nuvve enduku cheyiledamma (why didnt you do it girl)?", he would ask a girl standing.

"Sir! Unt lo baaga ledu Sir (i am not feeling well sir)", she would reply

"Oh! Em aindamma. Perugu tinnava nuvvu. Bhojanam tinnava. Tablets teeskunnava?" (What happened girl? Did you eat curd? Did you have food? Did u take tablets?)

"Ownu sir" (Yes sir)

"Ore loafer. Oka kobrakai neerlu teeskonra tondraga" (you loafer! go and get a coconut water quickly), he would yell at one of the other fellows who had not done his homework and was thus standing.

That guy would immediately run out.

Lucky fellow!

"Sare.. kuchoamma kucho" (Ok! Sit girl. sit)

And he would move on to the next student.

Finally he would start the day's chemistry class.

He would write the equation on the blackboard:

2Na+Cl2 = 2NaCl

And then he would draw the electrons and protons and neutrons for both Na and Cl

And then start explaining with his mono-act, talking to himself about his characters:

"Hello Chlorine!!! Yella unnavu?? Baag unnava??" (hello chlorine! how are you doing? are you good?)

"Baag unnanu Sodium. Nuvvu?" (i am fine sodium. you?)

"He he..nenu baag unnanu. Neeku oka maata cheppali" (i am good. I have to tell u something)

"Yenti Sodium! Cheppu cheppu" (what is it sodium? tell me tell me)

"Naku..neetoh prema aiyindi. Iddaru kalisi salt autama?" (i have fallen in love with you. shall we both become salt together?)

The Cinema gadu sitting beside me would never like it- "Salt aa?? yenti tragic love story ra!".

The girls would laugh as if sodium had proposed to them.

The lecturer would continue his act:

"Sare!!! Nenu ready Sodium!!!" (Ok sodium! I am ready)

"Chlorine!! I love you. Ra!" (he would do a Brahmanandam expression, and all the students would burst out laughing)

"Adi yenti Sodium. Nee tamudu kuda unnadu??" (What is that sodium? your brother also has come?)

"Avanu amma! Maa idarikki nuvve kawali" (yes dear. We both want you) 

This lecturer had lost it! The girls had puzzled looks on their faces. The guys were listening in rapt attention. This might well be the answer to the common problem in all their minds - how to deal with a love triangle.

The lecturer continued

"Yellag ra Sodium. Chudu naku inte electrons unnai??" (How sodium? See I have only these many electrons?)

Goodness. This was becoming a biology class about family planning laced with very intricate 'chemistry'.

By this time he would have drawn arrows explaining how the 2 sodium atoms would combine with 1 chlorine atom.

"Illage (this way)!!!!", and he would point to "2NaCl" written on the board.

For the sake of maintaining sanity and also remembering our chemistry for the exams, we heaved a sigh of relief that our hero completed his movie!

The class was almost over.

And that guy would enter with his coconut water.

"Baboi! Nuvve entra! Inta late ga vacchavu. Siggu leda?"  (Oh fellow! you have come so late. Trying to cheat me? No shame?)

"Sir! Kobrakai lo neerle ledu sir" (Sir there was no water in the coconut)

"Champestan ra malli cheste" (I will kill you if you do this again)

"Sorry sir"

"Ammai ki ivvu adi" (Give it to that girl)

"Nuvvu tagisi amma (You drink this girl)", he would say pointing to the girl.

That girl would suppress her laughter and say "Yes sir. Thank you sir!

And the bell would ring.

And the class would be over